KnottedMaggot

Dear Dad, I hope it made you happy to not see your own child for weeks. I hope you are proud to be the source of nightmares. I hope you are satisfied with being the reason I cry. I hope it made you feel like a good person to call your child the wrong name. I hope I made you proud when I cry myself to sleep each night. I hope you liked it when I broke down and cried all those times. How does it feel to be the reason this is all happening? How does it feel to have everything wrong with you? How does it feel to be in all my nightmares? How does it feel to have a depressed child, just because of you? Do you miss me? You shouldn't. D

Dear Somebody,            So how have you been? Or rather, a better question(for me) is how is heaven or whereever you're at? You know me..I've still haven't figured out exactly who or what I believe in.            It's been almost half a year since you've been gone. It's been sort of...Difficult without my confidant around. I mean, of course I have other people I can trust or talk to, but it was always easier to talk to you. Maybe it was because you never really made judgements; You just listened.            Now that I really stop to think about it, we really helped each other out a lot. Of course, your issues were much more serious th

Dear, Anthony,      Is it just me, or does the sense of nostalgia seem to be a somewhat conflicting comfort? It really is bittersweet. My mind seems to fade into thoughts of yesteryear and I cant help but love thinking of times that made me happy. But at the same time, I hate thinking of these things because I just feel like things will never be the same. It doesn't really matter in the end though because I know I'm an optimist and I always look to a brighter future. I don't know perhaps I'm just feeling wrapped up in too much hardship right now. Maybe its just depression.      Have you ever heard the theory that depression is just a stat

Dear You, If there's one thing I've learned, it's that it's easy to hold in contempt someone whom one cares for dearly. It's easy to assign blame, brew anger, and lose oneself to grudges. It's not so easy, once fallen into this, to turn back. However, life has taught me that for every story, there are two sides, and nobody is innocent. So, I must turn back, however difficult that might be, because I have played a part in this, and to continue to have this conflict inside of me will only send me down a path of destruction. I've been running away from my own heart and salvation, and now this is the time to stop fleeing and face this. Whether

Dear Somebody, Today, I want to talk about nightmares. Remember how I told you about the nightmares I always have? I am not going to go into further detail about them, so don’t worry. Some people say that the most disturbing of all nightmares, are the ones that keep you on the edge of sleep.  So disturbing are they that they wake you up. But what about the ones that trap you in your sleep, the ones you can’t seem to wake up from no matter what? What about the nightmares that embody all of the pain, physical and emotional, the fear, the worries, and the failure, to become a cunning and manipulative monster. No, not a

I never get the nerve when I'm around you to say all the things that I have always wanted you to know. Like how I still get shy sometimes when you kiss me unexpectedly. How my heart still gets that feeling I had when we first said 'I Love You'. That you are still as beautiful as the first time I met you, maybe even more so. That you are the one person who knows me better that anybody else in the world, and that I wouldn't have it any other way. How even when we get mad and angry, we still have never fought, but rather just talked things out. Sometimes I think that I love you so much that there isn't any way I could ever let you know just how